Jumping off the Train
Isn’t it kind of a revelation to know, “Wow, there is something real?” We don’t know it, because we’re distracting ourselves with so many other things. We can all get something from the beautiful passage … “You cannot find yourself: You’re not a ten-dollar bill that is lost somewhere in a jacket pocket to find.” You are already found. You only have to step away from the distractions.
We are the sky that is always cloudy; that is the human experience. It’s always filled with something. A cloud is filled with something – that is all a cloud is. If what it is filled with disappears, the idea of the cloud disappears, and the sky behind it will automatically reveal itself. If we are able to understand the nature of our identity, the identity of the body, the identity of the mind, and how we are using this identity to accomplish things in the world, then we would ask, “What is it that we are really trying to attain to?”
We are constantly thinking about tomorrow. We are reflecting on what has happened, we want to change a few things, we have certain desires, and we are projecting that into the future. That is the very nature of the mind, and that is how we have always been, at least in this life. That has been our life: Constantly keep thinking about something, and keep your entire attention and focus on doing those futuristic things. Once you accomplish that, you start dreaming about other things, and you keep on moving on.
If we can clearly understand: Is this the only process that we call life, or is there something more to life? Is the experience of life all about moving on, moving ahead, or is there something in reality? Is there something in this moment? We keep distracting ourselves because once the clouds have gathered, you look up – you’re looking for the sky, No matter how hard you try, you’re only looking at the clouds. Once thoughts have invaded us, we have chosen to attach ourselves to this world, this life, this thinking process. That itself is the distraction. There is no other distraction. In that sense, there is nobody who is not distracted. Even the most peaceful, relaxed, individual is still distracted by his thoughts, if you want to use the word distraction.
In a way, finding ourselves is going beyond the most basic assumptions that we have made about life. That requires a very strong will that requires consistent effort, consistent learning, and consistent understanding. We would not be able to just do it using a momentary thought. But what is a thought at the end of the day? All thoughts are connected to each other. When one thought is giving instructions to another thought, they’re still secretly conspiring to keep you blinded.
Our thoughts are the most dishonest of all things that you can find in the universe. Everything in existence is honest, if you think about it. Existence lives by the law of life, it dies by the law of life, and it’s always straight. It’s always honest. It says, “This is who I am. This is what my situation of life is. This is what I can do.” As long as we are close to this process, we have some hope, but we are not in that process.
We are constantly – every single moment – fooling ourselves into believing in our own thoughts. Whatever our thoughts tell us, we simply listen to it. Then, when we try to go beyond this process, we just use another thought (that is also our own). It’s our game, our mind, our thoughts. We keep on justifying our actions for ourselves. The Truth is there somewhere, and you have a desire to search for it. Because you are alive, because you’re born spiritual, there will always be a desire.
There’s a lot of difference between that desire becoming a reality and you just simply staying with that desire. For a lot of people, Awakening will simply remain a desire, because they’re not willing to be ruthlessly honest with themselves. And poor creatures, they don’t even know how dishonest they are with themselves. If, even for a single moment, we can sit and watch our thought process and see how dishonest we are to ourselves – forget about others – because they don’t know you. Whatever you tell them, they listen. If you tell me tomorrow, “I did this, I did that, this is what I’m doing,” that is what I will believe. I cannot get into your mind and see what you’re doing, what thought process is running.
Leave out others. We’ve made a living out of fooling others; that’s the whole world. You will not be able to find a new motivation to stay away from that because everybody’s in the same mess. We’re all concerned about our own self-interests, our own individual realities, and we will be like that. At least, when you decide to pick up the spiritual path, when you decide to search for the Truth, you have to internally become extremely honest with yourself. That is the only way you can continue to see how you are being tricked by your own thoughts.
You are a victim. You are not the perpetrator of a crime, you are a pure soul. You are a pure self. You are the most beautiful thing that can ever happen. You are aliveness. You are Consciousness. You are Divinity itself. When you can trick, when you can deceive yourself, when you can keep lying to yourself, then you should very clearly know that that is not you. Somewhere, something has gone wrong. Your mind has entered and has completely taken over you.
Now, the whole challenge in this process is, how do we stop somewhere in the middle? This freight train of thoughts is going all the time – going at breakneck speed. To be able to stop this train, and reverse its momentum, or to step away from it – literally, stepping away from thoughts is like jumping off a moving train. That is what is so difficult. Thoughts have momentum. Desires have momentum. Our Truth has momentum. Our lies also have momentum. So, they are carrying us in some direction. All of our desires have given us some destination in the future, and it is carrying us toward that at breakneck speed. You are sitting on the train, and somewhere you have figured out that, “No, this train is not reality. I have just been tricked into getting onto this train.” There’s another reality outside, which is perfectly still.
We are all like children who were born on the train, will live on the train, and will die on the train. All the time we’ll be feeling the vibration of the train, we’ll be moving back and forth, and we have learned everything by being on the train. So what is the train? It is a train of thoughts. Imagine how honest should an individual be to be able to say the very thing, “I am relying on my own mind, my thoughts are my enemy.” You can do that only when you put something else above your idiotic individual mind and thoughts.